A Wolfs Heart
by Lhuanna
Summary: Solas had tried hard to not fall in Love with Ellana, because he know that he must left her but it was a hopeless try. He is forced to remember their time together and to get a shocking truth revealed. Is their any hope for his love or will he lose her forever?
1. Memories

**Author's note: **So this is my first try of writing a story, I hope some of you enjoy it. Please have mercy it's also the first time that I right so much in english :-)

Sometimes i have the feeling that my translation from german to english is really bad, i could need someone to look over the english chapters before posting them.

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><p>Memories<p>

It was over Corypheus defeated and the breach closed, one mistake he had done fixed.

And he was one step closer to undone the biggest mistake he had ever done in his long live, Flemeths petrified body lay in front of him. He could feel that the part form Mythal he took from Flemeth was in his body, but their bond wasn't complete at this time. Instead of hearing Mythals voice in his head, only whisper he couldn't understand was their.

He should be glad, relieved but he was only exhausted his power was still not completely back and the connection also cost him power. Everything he wanted now was to rest and sleep, one last view to Flemeth then he turned to a Eluvian, activated it and went trough it.

Moments later he found himself in some elves Temple ruins, after he found a place that was protected from rain but offered a good overview of the temple he erected a barrier so no one would disturb him in his sleep. Then he leaned exhausted against the wall behind him before he would collapse, leaning against the wall he slid into the moss.

Immediately his eyes closed and he drift into sleep and began to dream but something was wrong he had no control over his dream, because their two spirits were not yet connected he was not solely responsible for his dreams.

With fright, he noted that it was one of his memories he saw, one which he could hardly bear to see because they would bring him only pain and guilt to have done something unforgivable to her.

* Mythal why do you torment me with this? There are so many other memories in me. Even my crime to imprison the others would be easier to bear. *

He wanted to talk with her in his mind but also now there was only that whisper he couldn't understand. With all the force he had he wanted to get away from that memory but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't.

He was condemned to be the spectator of his own tragedy.

Now he saw himself with her in Haven how they talked to each other, looking into each others eyes. Then he heard himself speak.

„ It seems you hold the key to our salvation. You had sealed it with a gesture and right then I felt the whole world change. "

„ Felt the whole world change? "Ellana asked

„ A figure of speech "he answered quickly

„ I'm aware of the metaphor. I'm more interested in felt "

As she spoke she went close to him, Solas took a breath.

„ You change...everything "with a light smile on her face she looked away from him and said „ Sweet talker "only to lift her hand to his face after one moment so he would look at her.

It was a light and short kiss she gave him, she already turned away from him when he grabs her hips and pull her into his arms to give her one more passionate kiss. Short he interrupted the kiss and shake his head the first taught that he shouldn't do this went through his mind, but he wanted her one last time he sealed her lips with his ones then he withdrew from her.

„ We shouldn't. It isn't right. Not even here" he sad with a sad look on his face.

„ What do you mean, „Even here? " she asked confused.

„ Where did you think we were? "

„ This isn't real " she stated.

„ That's a matter of debate...Probably best discussed after you wake up "

The scene blurred the only thing he saw was her face, with the smile he loved so much.

Her silver hair which reminded him of the moonlight when the light fell on it, the glow of her green eyes when they talked which radiate curiosity and thirst for knowledge and after some time and her desire for him. Not to mention her perfect lips where he could hang for hours, of which he had tried unsuccessfully to keep his own lips.

* It was the worst thing I could do to her, I was to weak to resist my own desire for her and let her fall into misfortune. She did everything I asked for, had to sacrifice and suffer so much because of me. Probably it is the right punishment for me, if I get haunted from the memories of our time together for eternity.

Mythal isn't this enough? I know what a mistake it was to fall in love with Ellana...I had never expected to find someone like her.

But my own mistakes made sure that I do not deserve to be happy, to love and be loved *

In a try to blink away his tears that came up into his eyes, he heard that whisper again that he couldn't understand.

* My friend, I can not understand you, what do you want to tell me? *

It was bright at once and he had to close his eyes when he opened them again he looked at a sunset in the mountains. After a moment he needed to take a sharp breath.

* This is the view from Skyhold, What is so significant about this sunset? * But then he realized it.

* We are on Ellanas balcony * He had been only once in her chambers, his hands balled into fists his pain and sorrow for her loss were transformed into frustration and anger.

With all the force he had he punchs against the wall of Skyhold, hoping the pain would allow him to wake up and he could escape his memories.

But besides the pain only the curtain opened for the next act of his tragedy.


	2. Defeated

Defeated

Certainty was what he hoped to find at that time. He found it increasingly difficult to control his feelings for her. When they were in the fade to face the nightmare demon, he told the others that Fear is one of the oldest spirits, second only to Desire.

Despite everything he knew, it was these two feelings that tormented him day by day .

Every time he saw her he wanted to pull her just into his arms, to kiss her and at the same time to lose himself in the joy he would feel. Simultaneously he was afraid to finally lose her.

But there was no common future for them.

Soon she would probably hate him for what he would do. The desire for this private conversation was his last desperate try to admit his feelings for Ellana as a simple crush. To hope that everything he saw in her and loved, only by the changes which the anchor must have applied existed.

* It was so stupid to believe, I could control my feelings. This evening on the balcony would have been the moment to stop it before it really began. But I was too weak... * Sadness and bitterness filled Solas by these thoughts.

She went with him on the balcony. * Vhenan * He suddenly wished that he would not just watch, rather that he could once again get the feeling to hold her in his arms, like he did it on this evening.

" What where you like before the anchor? " he asked, Ellana looked on her hand with the mark.

" Has it affected you? Changed you in any way? Your mind, your moral, your...spirit? " You could almost see that he was trying to find something about her that only exist because of the anchor.

„ I don't believe so. " she answered. He sighed, disappointment was marked on his face.

It was not the answer he was hoping for, Ellana looked at him with concern.

„ Why do you ask? " Solas couldn't watch into her face too much was his head buzzing.

„ You show a wisdom i have not seen since...since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the fade. You are not what i expected. " He looked at her.

„ What have i done thats so surprising? " She did not understand what he was getting on with his questions and the concerns, which was written on his face, did not help either. „ You have shown subtlety in your actions. A wisdom goes against everything i expected. If the Dalish could raise someone with a spirit like yours, could I have misjudged them? "

He was certain of nothing more, except with one fact...it didn't was a simple crush he felt for her, she has been always like this, even before the anchor. Would he have met her before all of this began, it wouldn't be different, but it might have taken a different ending. He should not let go, do not give in, do not desire her. Her voice brought him back to the now.

„ Most of the Dalish care more about impressing other hunters with a shot or talking about how awful humans are. There are only a few who seem to care about the old ways. " Something sad was in her voice.

„ Perhaps that is it. I suppose it must be. Must people act with a so little unterstanding of the world, but not you." „ So what does this mean Solas? " Ellana wanted to know where this conversation should lead to.

„ It mean that i have not forgotten the kiss. "

„ Good. " She came closer to him, her hands behind her back. She looked up at him, expecting a response from him.

Solas struggled with himself. He would only need to pull her into his arms. She stood full of expectation in front of him, the light of the setting sun enveloped her. He nearly become weak, she was so close to him. But he shook his head and turned away from her. He had to get away from her before it was too late.

Ellana grabbed his arm when he wanted to go, he felt her hand on his arm.

„ Don't go. " she asked him...

„ It would be kinder in the long run. " One last try to be strong, but he failed.

„ But losing you would... " when talk Solas turned, grabbed her hips and pulled her to him and kissed her. He held her, pressed her so closely he could, but he loosened his arms around her and withdrew from her lips.

"Ar lath ma, Vhenan " Solas turned away and went inside.

Oh yes he loved her. She was his heart. She was everything he had ever wished for as a woman.

She was his punishment. In his long life he had never felt a love for someone, like for her.

He loved, admired and desired her. At the same time he saw in her after such a long time, an elf as he remembered them and how he wanted the rest of their people too be.

But he was to blame for everything that had happened to her after the conclave. If she would find out it sometime, she would hate him. He knew for sure. Pain reflected on his face as he walked away from her. It wasn't right to go after he had given her so a confession. But would he yet stay he would,at least for this night, not get away from her.

Ellana leaned with a smile on her balcony door, looked after him. When she realized that he did not just only went inside, but wanted to leave her chamber, she could not help. She ran to him and hugged his waist from behind.

* Wait, what is this? She has not stopped me at that time! I left and tried unsuccessfully to sleep... *

he did not understand what was going on there. Again he heard the whisper * ...remember... * was all he could understand. * Remember? At what? That's never happened! * a sharp pain ran through his head. Never had such a thing happened in his dreams. When the pain stops he saw himself still standing in her chamber and be hugged from her.

„ Solas, it is not fair to go on, without giving me a chance to reply. " She buried her head in the fabric of his robe. He was frozen. He never would have expected that she would stop him, even if he had wished for it deep inside.

„ Vhenan, you don't need to feel compelled to reply something. I just wanted you to know how important you are to me. " His self control was crumbling. Not much was missing and he would tear her back into his arms. Only this time he could not withdraw from her again.

Hope, yes, he could only hope, that she would let him go to think about his words.

„ I love you, Solas. Look at me. Don't go away, please. " Another mistake. When she told, he looked at her. When she asked him not to leave he already saw her in the eyes...His resistance was crumbling more and more.

She did not wait for an answer, but wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself against him and kissed him. For Solas it was as he would get struck by a lighting. The last resistance was gone.

This kiss was different. The kiss gave him a promise of love, joy, passion and desire.

He was willing to respond to it because he loved her and he wanted her. And at that moment it was all that was important to him.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed the chapter, i try to post a new one every week. When my work allow it. xD<p>

And thanks to blackkitsue, demisses and jessica jean for putting the story on to your favorite list. :)


	3. Bound

I'm so sorry that it took longer this time, but I was sick and couldn't write for some days.

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><p>Any restraint was gone from him. Ellana had never felt such passion and such a desire in him.<p>

His kiss was more demanding. No sign exists, that he would let go of her, the opposite, he pulled her closer to him, ran his hands over her back.

She had never experienced that he had a physical reaction to her presence, but this time she was so close to him that she could feel his erection. A smile stole on her lips. He felt it and released her lips.

"What's so funny?" he asked, confused.

"I did not expect it to ever experience that you let yourself fall for something completely." She saw his brooding face.

"Oh no, do not start thinking about it! I love you, but to experience you open yourself to me in such a way makes me only love you even more . "

She looked at his face and had to grin and before he could say anything she sealed his lips with her own again.

In fact, he never expected to find someone, who would draw his attention from the fade.

Ellana was not willing to let him go this time. He had watched over her after the explosion.

In fact, she would have died without him.

Over the past weeks, months, he started as her rescuer, became a friend and finally the man she loved.

No mission of the Inquisition she performed without him. Without Solas she still would know so little about the fade, spirits, demons and the culture of her own people. Even as a mage and first of her clan she had learned from him.

A life without him she would not and could not imagine.

It wouldn't matter her what others would think about it, that she as Inquisitor loves an apostate Elf Mage. She knew that there would be enough people in skyhold, that would be happy for them.

As ye all of this was clear she withdraw from him, took his hand and led him to her bed. Shortly before her goal he stopped, doubts sneaked back into him.

She was the first of her clan, trained and educated to be the next keeper, for someone better than him determined. She could never go back to her clan, when they were together.

Especially not when she decided to sleep with him. The Dalish, he knew, had little to no understanding for such compounds. He let out a sigh.

"Solas?" In her eyes uncertainty could be seen.

"Vhenan, we should not go so far." he said, looking at her bed.

"Solas, you talk always of us, but actually you speak only for yourself." Tears sparkling in her eyes.

"Every time you decide to go, why is it just so hard for you to be honest with yourself? Or are you saying you feel nothing for me and don't want me? "

Dismay and guilt, how could he hurt her like that? Alone Ellana could believe that his feelings for were not real.

"I did not meant to hurt you. No matter what happens,I want you to know that what we have is real." He wiped a tear from her face.

"Ellana you know as well as I do that your clan will not accept me. They would cast you and you could never be the keeper. I don't want to take away your future. "

"I choose my future not my clan. I've already decided for you when we were still in Haven, but you need forever to recognize it . "

There it was again, the glow in her eyes when she stood up for what she believed in.

Could you love someone more? He did it. Every day he fell for her again and was surprised by it.

Again he closed her in his arms, kissed her on the forehead. Ellana held her hands against his chest, feeling his heart beat faster because of their proximity.

She pushed him away from her.

"Let us be happy, at least, away from all the burden and fear that surrounds us all here. Please Solas." She whispered.

He could hear the pleading in her voice. She wore so much responsibility, had to watch over the lives of so many and herself came always too short. If he could, he would take her burden, but all he could do was to be there for her.

His decision was made. A short outcry of surprise escaped her as Solas pushed her suddenly against the wall.

"If that's what you really want …" Something flashed in his eyes. She had the feeling to recognize a power in his eyes that she never noticed in him.

Ellana took his face in her hands and looked him in the eyes.

"You're all I want." Immediately, he kissed her. Now his mind was finally defeated.

He had felt how a part of his power had flared up because of her. And she had also noticed, he was sure.

He put his hands on her waist to her thighs and lifted her, so that her legs wrapped around him and she was pushed further back against the wall.

Solas wandered with his lips to her ear, further down her neck.

As he slowly ran his tongue over her skin, it flashed through Ellana, what elicited a moan from her.

He kissed and sucked on her neck, at the same time his hands wandered on her butt and he pushed himself as close to her as he could.

When she could feel his erection between her thighs, she went through a shiver which not remained unnoticed by him.

With one hand he began to open her blouse, when he arrived at the last button she took his hand and stopped him.

Solas looked confused at her, has she changed her mind? Ellana gave him a loving smile.

"You worry too fast, Solas. After all the trouble to keep you here, I'll let you definitely not go. "

She opened her hair and he realized for the first time, that they reached to her hip.

However, he also see now that her blouse had slipped.

He kissed her neck again, but only briefly, immediately he moved deeper to her collarbone and finally to her breasts.

"You're so beautiful." he whispered in her ear when he raised his head again.

Before Ellana could say anything she felt his lips on hers. It was a kiss full of desire .

Light he ran his tongue over her lips to get entry, which she happily grant him.

During her tongue game he massaged her breasts with his hands, what again drew a pleasant moan from her. Solas could feel her body responded to his touches, he could feel her heartbeat getting faster and faster under his hand.

She pushed her hips forward, pulling him as close with her legs to herself as she could, that it was gradually too tight in his clothes for him. He wanted to get rid of his troublesome clothes, but above all he wanted to feel her bare skin on his own.

He shoved his hands from her breasts under her bottom and held her pressed to him. If she would hold even tighter on his shoulders, the cloth problem would be solved soon.

He quickly carried her gently to the bed and as she sat on the edge of the bed he kneel in front of her and unlaced with nimble fingers her boots, which flew few moments later through the room, followed by her socks and pants.

Ellana smiled and knelt down on her bed and threw her blouse. Now she knelt before him, clothed only with a chest strap and panties.

She was just perfect. It was now dark, and only the moonlight provided light. Ellana couldn't have imagined that this little light would be enough for him to see all her body had to offer him.

Her hands pulled him to her and she began to help him get rid of those annoying clothes.

Moments later, he was completely naked and grabbed with one hand behind her neck, pulled her head to him to kiss her again. Together, they let down on the bed and Solas overlaid her body with kisses. When he arrived on the inside of her thigh she shuddered.

"Solas ..." To hear his name moan from the woman he so desired, made only that he even more desired her. And he wondered again if you could love someone even more?

Apparently so,because with every second they spent together he loved her more and more.

He devoted himself to her chest belt, which he quickly removed. When it was gone, he began to suck on her nipple, at the same time he let his fingers slide into her panties.

She moaned again and bent against his hand. He could feel how excited she now was, and it was for himself more and more difficult to control himself and wait for it. Ellana began to rub her hips against his hand. She never would have expected to want and need him so much.

She caressed his cheek and he looked at her. Anything more beautiful than her with this smile on her face he had never seen before.

His hands were now on the waistband of her panties. He looked at her, waiting for a signal. Her nod to him was confirmation enough and he drew it down from her hips.

Her legs were slightly spread an invitation he could not refuse. Slowly he lay down on her, leaning with his elbows beside her head so she would not have to bear his full weight.

"Ar lath ma, Vhenan." He whispered. "I love you too." She replied and took his face in her hands.

Kissed him gently, then more demanding and granted his tongue entrance. Briefly he broke the kiss to look into her eyes.

She nodded and he slowly entered her. Solas felt her tightened and stopped so she could get used to the feeling. As Ellana had relaxed again he began to move, slowly at first, but when she began to moan and moved her hips, he goes faster and harder.

Her legs wrapped around him, her fingernails left marks on his back. It would not be much longer.

When she packed from her climax, moaned, his name he came, too.

* Why? Why I don't remember this night with Ellana? How could I let it go so far. *

To see this memory made sure that he could hardly control his emotions. If he had control over this dream, probably anything would be blown up in all this which has swelled in him.

* Dread Wolf ... It's not over yet. Look there! * Mythals voice. For the first time he could hear her clearly.

He looked how he and Ellana lying in bed as he hugged her from behind and kissed her neck while she was about to fall asleep slowly. Before she fell asleep definitively he heard her say

"Solas, please stay with me." He pulled her close. "For Always, Vhenan."

There was nothing he would rather do than to be like this forever with her. A life without her would be his end. He had never been so happy as at this moment. A decision grew up in him.

His eyes began to glow blue and he kissed her on her shoulder. As he pulled his head away from her you could see shortly light up a blue mark on her shoulder. Now he fell asleep from exhaustion.

* Do you understand now why you could not hear me directly Fen'harel? * Now showed to him at least some sense, the lack of memory had his connection to Mythal disturbed. Especially since he had left a part of himself in Ellana, however, it was still not clear why he had not remembered.

But a part of him wished he couldn't still remember all of this. He'd done much worse to her than he previously thought.

* I gave her my mark ... the thought of living without her, I couldn't stand. She will not age or get sick ...but if one of us is killed dies the other, too. I have bound her forever to me without that she knows it or that I ever asked, I have forced immortality to her. So I am not better than the other, who branded their slaves with the Vallaslin. * Pure scorn was in his voice.

* You did not select her as a slave, dread wolf. You wanted her as your wife. We both know very well that a wolf needs his pack and above all a partner. But I must unfortunately ask you to see the rest, so you realize why you do not remember. Only when your mind is clear again I can lend you my power, to do what needs to be done. *

Again he saw they were in bed together, but they were both asleep. On her face was a satisfied smile. Now that he remembered the feeling to feel her in his arms as she gave herself to him, this sight pure happiness they had together was unbearable for Solas at this moment.

He saw himself awake, at first not clear about where he was. But when he felt her warmth body dismay was in his face. Especially when he saw the mark on her shoulder.

As gently he could, he withdrew from her, in order not to wake her. Gathered up his clothes and got dressed. One last look on her before he closed the door of her chambers behind him, when he had gone a few steps he sank against a wall.

Another mistake. One which he could not be undone. Although he had had the power to give her the mark but to take it back, would require more than he had at that time. Even though he was anyway still far from its former power, he had now also given her a part so that she is immortal.

"Mistake. Everything destroyed. Anger, sadness, despair. The desire to run away, never to have been here. Simple to disappear. " Solas looks up when he hears Cole talk. "Cole, stop!"

"No. Not this time. This time I have to help, otherwise she will break. She's afraid to lose you, would search you, and despair because of you. Always ask why you went. You must both forgotten."

* Of Course. Who but Cole could make us forget. He did it to protect Ellana, in order to protect her from the suffering which I had caused her. Mythal, do she remember that night, too? *

His greatest fear was actually to die alone, but now she was replaced by Cole's words. Would she really broke because of him? Had he destroyed the most precious in his life?


	4. Sorrow

The fire was almost burned down completely, but the slowly upcoming cold not mind her. The cold from her inside was the only one she could feel. She took the last letter from her desk, she had not yet read.

Cassandra had dropped it off recently, probably as an excuse to see how she's doing. Although the seeker gave her always a smile, she was bad at hiding her true feelings.

She cared about her and if Solas would ever get into her hands, he was getting worse than Varric,after Cassandra has placed him for Hawke in the tavern for a talk.

On the wax seal of the letter she could see a nightingale, so he came from Leliana. Despite her duty as the new Divine she helped Inquisition whenever she could, which earned her not only goodwill.

She opened the letter and began to read.

_Inquisitor_

_Unfortunately my spies still failed to find a trace of Solas. But I have them tasked to continue to search for him and to go after hints , even if they are entrusted with other missions._

_We'll find him and everything will change for the good._

_Maker bless you._

_Divine Victoria_

In addition to this rather impersonal note, another letter was still in the envelope.

_Ellana,_

_it is now three weeks since our victory over Corypheus and Solas disappearance. You take care about the closure of discovered rifts, but as Cassandra describes it, without regard to lose your life._

_She worries, just like the rest of us. She will yet accompany you everywhere, just to make sure nothing happens to you. It may be that she already watchs over you like a mother hen, but slowly I can understand if you do not want that my spies do likewise. Then try not to be killed. If I find Solas only to have to tell him you were dead, it would kill him._

_He must have had a reason, otherwise he would never leave you in such a way. Believe me, for this he loves you too much._

_I will as soon as I can come to Skyhold. Please do not make Cassandra and the other even more worried. We love you all and could not bear to lose you._

_What should Dorian do without you, when he comes back from Tevinter?_

_Leliana_

Ellana put the letter away. It could be that she lately haven't cared very good for herself, but she felt empty inside. Something in her is broken and could not be repaired so easily.

Yes, the others were worried, especially Cassandra. At Cullen and Josephine she saw it at every meeting. Vivienne was gone and that Leliana disbanded the circle has been a big problem for her.

Varric and Dorian were both traveled to their families for a time, the bull and his guys completed every mission of the Inquisition that give them the promise of a good fight along with Blackwall.

Sera tried with their typical way of cheer her up and from Cole, Ellana tried to stay away.

He might be more human now, but the spirit of compassion felt her pain, her grief and despair, and she wanted to spare him.

She ran her fingers over the place where once had been her Vallaslin. Sometimes it seemed to her as if she could still feel his hands and the tingle of magic when he removed it.

Tiredness became apparent, but she did not want to sleep. She would just again try to find a trace of him in the fade. Since he was gone she had visited any place in the fade in which they were together, or that she believed he might be. But it has brought all nothing, in the end she was in the glade with the waterfall, where he had ended it.

It did not help, she had to sleep. When Cassandra should note that she also still sleep too little, she would chain Ellana in Skyhold, in order that her nothing happens.

She lay in her bed, trying not to think of Solas, which of course did not succeed. Again she saw his face, heard him say how beautiful she was. When he had the Vallaslin removed, felt his lips on hers, the next he was gone.

He had withdrawn from her then, leaving her despite her pleas not to do it, not even said farewell to her. He had not noticed it as she had collapsed after he had left her alone in the glade that she had sat and cried half the night on the rock.

At the thought of the night tears came again. So much had happened since she was sent to the conclave. There were moments in which she wished someone else would have gone in her place from her clan.

In this moments, she missed her clan most and wished she would still be there. But she knew there was no going back to her old life. There she could not be happy and hide from her responsibilities as Inquisitor was out of the question.

Everything would just be so much easier if she wouldn't feel this pain. She felt empty, as if a part of her would have disappeared with him.

Even the voice of the well was only rarely for her to hear. If she was honest with herself, she has weakened in the last weeks, whether physical or magical.

Yes, even the closing of rifts using the anchor was harder and harder for her.

Her whole being responded to the loss of Solas. It was only a matter of time before she would be unable to carry her duties, if it went so on.

"Cole, how is she?" Cassandra looked at the young man beside her worriedly.

"She suffers. The loss still hurts, the question of why employed her a lot. She remembers his words and touches, just can not understand why he's gone. " He looks at Ellanas chambers while he speaks.

"We will have to give her time, she'll get better. At the latest when Dorian comes back, what will hopefully soon be the case. "

"You are mistaken, Seeker. Did you not notice? She will be weaker, a part of her is gone and without Solas he will not return. I warned him at that time ... maybe it was wrong to help. "

Cassandra looked at him in shock. "What do you mean that she will be weaker? And why you warned Solas? Cole, what you've done! "

Now she was angry to restrain her temper had never been something that Cassandra mastered.

"While I was still able at that time, I helped the two, after their night together. I let them forget. If I had not done it Solas would already at that time disappeared. "

Cole looked to the ground and kicked a stone away at his feet.

"Will you mean to tell me that you let them both forgotten that they have slept together? Just because Solas seems so much to regret it that he wanted to run away? Andraste when I see these pointy eared bastard again, I kill him. "

Cassandra screamed and slammed the training dummy beside her to give vent to her rage.

"Seeker, he loves her more than his life. I have felt it, he did not want to leave her side. But in Solas there is much grief and regret, he wanted to do something good again, what he has done long ago. But I can't tell you what. Ellana told me that Solas has manipulated my memories after he is gone so I can not find him. Unfortunately I can not say exactly what happened that night when I let them forgotten. And before you ask, I can't return the memory to Ellana. It probably would hurt her even more. I'm sorry. "

Uncertainty and a hint of sadness came from Coles words. He really cared about Ellana. Not only because he was once a spirit of compassion, but because he was afraid for his friend. She had helped him to be more human and was always there for him. The feeling that he couldn't help her scared him.

"Cole, it's not your fault. I did not mean to yell at you. So we actually have to hope that Solas returns or we find him to make Ellana get stronger. But what happens when he leaves again or he refuse to explain what's going on? Will she can handle another disappointment? "

Cassandra sank on a tree stump and held her head.

"This question I can not answer you." Cole looked saddened to Cassandra.

Ellana was asleep and as expected she stood in the fade in the clearing. She looked around briefly, but he was not here. Her hope dies with each time more.

She sat down on the rock and watched the lake which was filled by the waterfall.

"Solas where are you..." A sob came from Ellana at these words. She began to cry. It was too much, that she was repeatedly confronted with her loss. Slowly she felt as if her body would shatter at any moment. Too much responsibility, too many expectations weighed on her.

Suddenly she felt something on her leg when she looked up she saw a huge gray wolf standing beside her. He looked at her curiously and nudged her with his head and lay down next to her on the ground.

"Hey, you're again here." Ellana put a hand on the head of a wolf, he whimpered softly.

"It's nice not to be completely alone here. I liked this place from the first moment, but unfortunately I associate with him not so beautiful memories. Here I have lost someone who is very important to me. " The wolf lifted his head and looked at her inquiringly.

Ellana had to laugh at the sight at a time.

"I'm stories about Fen'harel from the Dalish came in my mind at the sight of you. Probably most of us would run away from you in fear, because they think you would be him and he would come to get them. It's strange that my people are so afraid of him, but at the same time sometimes worship him for help.

I wonder how he really was. Abelas told us at the well that Mythals murder had nothing to do with Fen'harel and Flemeth mentioned that Mythal, like herself, was betrayed.

My people really seem to know very little about our culture, our false belief about the Vallaslin is a sad example.

Forgive, you ask yourself sure what nonsense I'm talking. I wish you would answer me, and tell me your story. "

She was stroking his fur, suddenly his hair stood on end and he began to growl.

"Quiet, my dear, it's only me. Do not worry, I will not harm your little elven friend. I would not hurt my own servants, for such a monster could only hold me Morrigan. " Ellana recognized the mocking voice.

"Flemeth, or should I say Mythal? What do you want from me, why do you appear suddenly in my dreams?"

"Oh don't look so defiant at me child. My daughter tells you absolutely nothing good about me and what name you choose for me, I honestly don't care. Whether I appear to you as the voice in your head or in the fade is the same thing. I'm only here to see why you'll weaker, although your power should be grown because of the well. "

Flemeth stood there and looked into Ellanas eyes. The wolf urging between the two, he would not have Flemeth near to her.

"So much mistrust everywhere, your secret I will not tell her. I'll leave that to you wolf. And now to you, my child. "

Flemeths eyes begin to glow and she touched Ellanas arm. Ellana gasped and dropped to her knees. The wolf growled again and hurried to her.

"Silly child, you have lost some part of your self to this man. Did have so much confidence in him that you thought he would stay with you forever. If you do not get back this part of you, you will one day be so weak that you die. And believe me, you do not want this for his sake. "

Flemeth let go of her arm and turned away to go.

"What do you mean? He's gone! Why should he care if I die. We mortals are not your toys. Morrigan was right, you enjoy in the suffering of others. "Ellana was angry and yelled at Flemeth.

"Think how you speak to me, or I might only look when the time comes, and your lover Solas dies and will not tell you how you can save him."

At these words any color escaped Ellanas face. She was pale and began to tremble.

"Why should he die, how would I be able to change anything?" Her voice was shaky, her legs weakened and she went to her knees. The wolf lay down beside her, so that she could lean on him.

"Do you think he would have no past? His attempt to make earlier wrongs good will have an impact. In the worst case, his dead and he would accept, if it's worth out of his sight. The day will come when you will have the choice to save him, or will be the reason why he dies.

Because what you do not know, is, that you were just so betrayed and lied to by the man you love, as it happened to us both once. " In this last sentence was so much bitterness and hatred that it sent a shiver down Ellanas spine.

Before she could say anything, the shape of Flemeth / Mythal was gone and she was again alone with the giant wolf. Fresh tears ran down her face. She was confused and desperate. When it was all true what she heard, she would die if she did not find Solas. But she could also be responsible for his death.

A part of her wanted to simply lose in the fade, that he should have betrayed her and lied to her hurt more than anything else. Therefore was her uncertainty of whether that was really between them, only the greater. Maybe she was only a pastime for him. She knew how much he was hoping to get the foci from Corypheus back and how disappointed he was by its destruction.

Maybe he had indeed only used her to get the foci back. And after the destruction she had no use for him.

More and more tears burned on her face. The sobbing made sure that her whole body shook and she could hardly breathe. Ellana clawed into the fur of the wolf and wept uncontrollably.

"Why can't this nightmare not simply end? Why did I survive all that happen, only to lose the one person I ever wanted?"


End file.
